MY HEART IS THE CANVAS

tattoo these words onto my soul
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  • Sometimes
    I miss every person I have known
    and lost, and I have to remember that
    tomorrow, or a week or month
    or year from now, I will
    meet new people who will make
    me forget that there was
    ever anyone worth missing.

    Until then,
    I have to remember that
    running back to the people I have lost
    has never helped anything.

    I may miss you but
    I do not need you in my life
    anymore.

    by r.e.s

    Posted 6 hours ago With 543 notes

    I used to be sorry for the way
    that I fiddled with my hair
    or the hem on my dress or the rings
    on my finger, and

    I used to be sorry for
    parts of myself that I could never
    ever change, like my eyes
    that gave too much away, or my smile
    that seemed to always be lacking
    or my legs or my arms or
    my hands, and

    I used to be sorry for
    saying what was on my mind
    even when it never hurt a soul, and

    I shouldn’t have been.

    I’m not sorry for stumbling sometimes
    or wearing makeup when I’m alone
    or singing loudly at home
    or saying what I want to say when I want to say it.

    I’m not sorry for who I used to be
    and who I am, and who I may be in the future-

    I’m sorry that I keep people waiting
    sometimes, or that I shut people off and hide
    inside, but I’m not sorry for being me,
    and I hope I never will be,
    and I know now that I never should’ve been.

    Sorry // r.e.s

    Posted 8 hours ago With 27 notes

    “you say you wish we were closer
    as you’re walking away
    and that you hate when I leave
    though you never try to make me stay
    and you know I hate liars
    but the lies roll off your tongue
    how can you stand there and expect me
    to pull myself undone
    if you say you miss me
    then use me like a shield from the sun”

    Is That All I Am To You? // r.e.s

    Posted 3 days ago With 76 notes

    58
    
when you can’t, you can // r.e.s

    “I knew you were beautiful
    without ever having to see you,
    because the way
    you spoke
    unnerved the butterflies
    resting in my stomach, and I
    could feel their wings brushing up
    against each other,
    they were so excited to
    hear that voice,
    and I was so excited, too,
    and you were so
    so beautiful.
    More than that, you
    were the fire that warmed
    my heart until
    I could finally feel again.”

    You // r.e.s

    Posted 1 week ago With 68 notes

    “You helped me recognise that there is both beauty in distant city lights from all angles, and in a pitch black sky, lit up only by the thousands of starts littered across it. I may not be thankful for the way that you left me, but I will forever be grateful for that.”

    A gift // r.e.s

    Posted 1 week ago With 17 notes

    73
    i couldn’t decide which i liked better (r.e.s)

    “It wasn’t the same as with
    other people. When I lost you, I mean.
    It wasn’t the same.
    Because, when I lost you
    my heart scarred in all of the
    places you had touched it. Every
    pretty word you’d said to me
    became ugly, every laugh I had laughed
    for you was replaced with staring
    at the wall for an hour, wondering if
    I was dreaming. When I lost you,
    I thought that maybe I hadn’t lost you
    at all. I thought you’d pick up the
    phone and call, or at least send a message.
    When I lost you, I lost a piece of myself.
    Because, you came into my life with a bang,
    changing the way I viewed
    people, and city lights, and stars,
    and everything. And losing someone
    who changes everything hurts.
    It more than hurts. It turns feet into
    heavy blocks that you can’t lift for days,
    and it makes your lips so sore
    that you won’t open them to speak.
    But when I lost you, I missed
    you, and I hated you, and it hurt
    so much I couldn’t even cry.
    But it’s okay.
    When I lost you, I lost a piece
    of myself, but new pieces have grown
    in its place, and it’s okay.
    It’s okay.”

    WHEN I LOST YOU // r.e.s

    Posted 3 weeks ago With 92 notes

    I made sure I ate
    breakfast, lunch, dinner
    today, and with each
    bite I thought,
    ‘I am alive, I am alive, I am
    alive’

    I used my legs to walk
    through fields
    and meadows and
    rivers this week,
    and with each step I thought,
    ‘I am alive, I am alive, I am
    alive’

    My heart is on fire,
    I have a voice that likes to
    sing, I have books I like
    to read, I have notebooks filled
    with drawings and papers
    full of words, and
    I am alive.

    I’ll be damned if my life
    is worth burning off everything
    I eat, or refusing to make a
    sound, because god forbid someone
    hears my voice.

    I am alive and I am going
    to act as such.

    Alive | r.e.s

    Posted 4 weeks ago With 147 notes

    71
    
I wish I had // r.e.s

    “i loved you with shaking hands
    and brittle bones, with
    a heart that was empty and
    broken and alone,
    with eyes that could see
    you but not very well, because
    they started to cry as soon as i fell.
    i loved you with patience
    and restlessness both, and
    a head that was thinking in musical
    notes, with a mind that was
    busy most of the day,
    and even though we talked often
    i didn’t have much to say.
    so i loved you with
    greed and hunger and passion
    and a constant fear that
    something i said would make
    you snap, with jealousy
    and eagerness, and legs
    that would break, with a heart
    that didn’t have a clue how
    much it could take.
    and i’d ask you if i was worth
    the days that were rough,
    but i just want to know
    why you let me go, said
    the good days were good
    but the bad ones were too
    much; and wasn’t
    the fact that i loved you
    enough?”

    I LOVED YOU (wasn’t it enough?) // r.e.s

    Posted 1 month ago With 40 notes

    what other good poem accounts do you follow?

    @Anonymous

    I don’t really follow poetry blogs! 

    Posted 1 month ago With 0 notes

    write more soon !

    @Anonymous

    I’ll try to!

    Posted 1 month ago With 0 notes

    how do you become so talented in your writing? what did you do?

    @Anonymous

    Awh thanks! ^^ 

    This advice is super overused, but I read constantly, and I write constantly. My writing a year or two ago? It was so terrible. And in a year I’ll probably look back on what I’ve written today and think it’s terrible, too. However, at least I can compare my work and realise that I’m so much better now than I was then. 

    But yeah, reading has really, really helped. I’ve noticed the more I read, the more I get into the mood to write, and the more I write, the better I get. Read a variety of books, too. Obviously it’s fine to have staple books that you go back to, but try reading things that are out of your comfort zone. And read some poetry! 

    Also, write about anything and everything. Literally. Write about waiting in traffic lights, or burnt toast, or bedsheets. Find new ways to describe things. This sounds weird, but you’ll broaden your vocab and your writing will improve. Do crosswords. I mean, I don’t do that, but I should.

    Okay last thing: don’t be too hard on yourself. If you write something and it sucks, that’s okay because at least you’ve written something. If you start hating something you write, leave it. Leave it somewhere in a folder on your computer and don’t come back to it for months. Then you’ll have a fresh mind and you’ll be able to work through it without feeling sick of it. 

    Just keep reading, keep writing, and don’t think too much about it.

    Hope this helped!!! Have a lovely day.

    Posted 1 month ago With 4 notes

    what do you do when you have writers block? when your thoughts advocate your mind and you have so much to say but you can't?

    @Anonymous

    Honestly, when that happens, I usually just don’t write. If my mind is completely full with thoughts, I’ll tend to just wait until they pass, or do something to distract myself. I just have to trust that eventually I’ll find a thought I can grab onto long enough to hold onto it and make something out of it. 

    Sometimes though, I might get lots of ideas at once, and instead of letting them go, I’ll grab my phone and start all of them, without the pressure of having to finish them, if that makes sense. I know that I can come back to them later and make them into a poem or something if I want to, or just leave them if I don’t. It’s nice to have them somewhere though.

    I know this might not have helped, but I kind of just go with how I’m feeling in the moment, and sometimes having lots of thoughts is fun because it means I get to write poem after poem after poem, or story after story after story, but sometimes, when I have lots of thoughts, I decide I don’t want to hold onto them. 

    Also, in terms of general writers block (where I’m simply stuck and have no clue what to write), I’ll just have a go-to topic, which is usually love or loneliness, and I’ll try and describe them in different ways, or pull experiences up that involve them, and start from there. And going for walks is nice for observing. And keep a diary. Even if what you end up writing in it is completely random or doesn’t make sense.

    Sorry this was so long! I hope it helped at least a little. Have a lovely day.

    Posted 1 month ago With 1 note